Adorable Psycho's Long Hard Times to Come
by Wepdiggy
Summary: When a new member is added to the team, Sarah is instantly jealous, but she quickly learns that her worries may be misplaced.  Will it matter to the Adorable Psycho?
1. A Rude Awakening

_A/N: So for whatever reason, I seem to be on an AP kick of late. For some, that's good news, for others, well, who cares about them, right? They're not reading this anyway. But this is an idea that kind of came to me out of the blue. A way to turn the AP world on its ear, as it were. A way to change things up. And a way to make a lot of jokes, which in the end, is all I really care about. Hopefully you'll find some joy in this fic. Hopefully you'll find it funny. Big ups to **MXPW** for kind of listening to me ramble on about this story before I wrote it, and kind of pointing me in the right direction. Or at least I hope it's the right direction. I suppose that's really up to you, the reader, to let me know. So let me know, yeah? And thanks for reading!_

_Disclaimer: I receive no financial, um, stuff, from writing this. I do it fo' free. Chuck belongs to someone else. So does Sarah, to my dismay._

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**Chapter 1: A Rude Awakening**

**Echo Park, California  
February 20, 2011  
07:14 PST**

Sarah walked out of her and Chuck's apartment, and immediately the flashbulbs began to pop. There was a huge uproar. Whistles, clapping, yelling, posters declaring their admiration.

Girls, blonde girls, thousands of them lined the sidewalk, their boyfriend's on leashes next to them. And every girl was ecstatic to see their hero. The one woman that had finally waged war on all the interloping, brunette, boyfriend stealing skanks of the world.

"We love you Sarah!" they shouted.

"Way to kill Jill Roberts, Sarah," another said as she passed.

Sarah waved to her adoring public and confetti filled the air around her as she continued on her walk to her beloved Porsche, with Chuck in tow.

"They all love you, Sarah," Chuck said, smiling on her proudly.

"That they do," Sarah answered, unable to keep the look of satisfaction from her face.

"But I love you more," Chuck said, eliciting a wider grin from Sarah. "And I love you harder, deeper, more thoroughly, any time of day or night you choose."

"How many people have you killed this week?" someone shouted from the back of the crowd.

"Five-hundred brunette skanks have died this week alone," Sarah announced, causing the cheers to only grow louder.

"That's my girl," Chuck said, wrapping his arm around her. "You're a killing machine, and I couldn't be prouder. Want me to plow you in the car? We can even put the top down so everyone can see us."

"Oh, well, if you insist," Sarah said coyly.

Sarah turned the radio on, once she was seated in her car.

"You're listening to WSRH, Sarah FM, your only home for all of our beloved Sarah's favorite songs, with praise and worship sessions at 20 past the hour, every hour for our hero," the DJ, a nice blonde woman with no interest in Chuck whatsoever said. "Now for some Nina Simone, 'Feeling Good'."

"I love this song," Sarah said, smiling.

"And I love you," Chuck answered. "Now let's get naked!"

"Oh Chuck," Sarah cooed.

"Sarah," Chuck whispered. "Sarah? SARAH!"

Sarah's eyes shot open.

"Wha-huh?" she mumbled.

Quickly taking in her surroundings, she realized that she wasn't taking a victory lap around the courtyard with thousands of admiring onlookers. But she _was_ in bed with Chuck, so it wasn't all bad.

"Sarah, we have to get up," Chuck said, shaking her lightly.

"Mmmmm, not now. Need sleep," she groaned. But Sarah couldn't keep the silly grin off her face remembering her dream.

"Good dream?" Chuck asked. He was getting so observant when it came to her. Sarah didn't mind Chuck observing her at all, ever.

"Not as good as this morning could be," she said suggestively, throwing a leg over him possessively, her hand sliding down his chest, over his abs, descending towards naughty territory.

"Not that I wouldn't love to do that," Chuck said, pulling away from her. "Because obviously, I would. But we have a briefing scheduled for eight, and it's already quarter after seven, so…"

"Ugh," Sarah groaned. "Stupid job, always getting in the way of my sex life."

"We had sex three times last night," Chuck protested.

"And it's a new day, and we haven't had sex at _all_ today," Sarah pointed out.

"Fine," Chuck said. "Let's go to this briefing, and then when it's over—"

"You'll bone me right on the table in Castle, Casey's protests be damned?" Sarah asked hopefully.

"Perhaps with a little more tact," Chuck said. "But we'll see what we can do."

"Tact is for pussies," Sarah grumbled. Then kissing Chuck on the cheek: "But I take what I can get."

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**Castle Facility  
February 20, 2011  
07:59 PST**

"General," Casey began, "and I mean no disrespect by this—"

"Just say what's on your mind, John," Beckman said from the other end of the video-link.

"Okay, here it is." Casey let out a deep breath. "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"Colonel!" Beckman scolded. "The language really isn't necessary."

"Sorry, ma'am," Casey said sheepishly.

"But I see your point, and believe me, I tried to get this problem fixed before it could happen," Beckman explained.

"And…?"

"And someone in the know assured me that it wouldn't be a problem."

"I'm looking at her file, General, and I don't see any _way_ this could avoid becoming a problem. Potentially an international problem, if MI6 takes it personal," Casey said.

"It won't be a problem because—"

"We're here!" Sarah shouted from the entryway to Castle. "Let's get this thing over, okay? I have plans."

Casey snorted. "So you're calling it 'plans' now?"

Sarah and Chuck began the descent into the team's secret lair.

"No, not really, but General Beckman doesn't like it when I say fuck, plow, screw, bone, boink—"

Beckman cleared her throat, cutting Sarah off midstream. "Agent Walker," she said.

"General," Sarah answered, straightening her posture.

"Sorry to inconvenience you this morning, Sarah," the general added.

"Apology accepted," Sarah said. "Are we done now? Because Chuck promised me we could turn Castle into our own personal sex kingdom after the briefing."

Beckman rolled her eyes. "No, we're not done. But Colonel, feel free to disappear today's surveillance tapes before I ever have to review them."

"Roger that," Casey answered.

"Anyway," Beckman said, clearing her throat again. "The reason I've brought you hear this morning is that we've caught a break in the Corvus group investigation."

Chuck's ears immediately perked up at the mention of Corvus. Such a professional now, Sarah observed.

"MI6 picked up some chatter awhile back, and they actually have an analyst that has been specializing in the second phase of Corvus for some time now."

"We're working with the Brits again?" Chuck asked skeptically.

"You'll be working with this woman," Beckman said.

Then Sarah's ears perked up. Woman? Hopefully someone old, fat and ugly.

But as the screen split and this analyst's picture was revealed, Sarah discovered that this new teammate was anything _but_ ugly. And she was certainly a brunette.

A little over an hour later, Sarah found herself lying naked on the cot of one of Castle's holding cells. Fortunately, Chuck was there with her, and to her delight, just as naked. And sweaty. She'd given it to him but good.

"That was—"

"Amazing?" Sarah asked, cutting Chuck off.

"Well amazing, of course. It always is. But I was going to say intense," Chuck answered.

"Just marking my territory," Sarah said distractedly.

Chuck sighed. "Sarah, I can practically hear your wheels turning. What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?"

Sarah couldn't help but to grin, just a little. Chuck was always so cheesy after sex. It was only one of the many reasons she loved him so. Still, she was having problems focusing on her boyfriend. Just another in a long line of reasons she needed to formulate her new plan. As a spy, distractions got you killed. As a girlfriend, distractions kept you from getting as much sex as you otherwise could. The latter was more her concern at the moment.

"Just thinking about what I want for lunch," Sarah lied.

Chuck propped himself up on an elbow. Gingerly. He was obviously sore. Sarah took a little bit of satisfaction from that.

"You do know that I can tell when you're lying," he said in an accusatory tone.

Now Sarah sighed. "Fine, I was trying to remember what hotels the Brits generally use for their operatives in the L.A. area in case I needed to, you know, _investigate_ our new partner."

"Sarah," Chuck said warningly. "This is an important assignment. We can't have you killing our key asset, especially before she's allowed to help us."

"But I want to," Sarah whined.

"Sarah, no. Please? For me, can you let her live?" Chuck begged.

"Fine," Sarah huffed. "I guess I can do that for you. I can do anything with you inside me."

"You mean _be-_side you?" Chuck asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"No, Chuck. No I don't."

And sore or not, Chuck would have to prepare for another go. Sarah needed her "strength" up if she was going to maintain enough will power to let this potential, and likely skank live. And if she was going to acquiesce to Chuck's wishes, then he was going to have to give into hers. And at the moment, her only wish was more sex.

"Mmmm," she moaned contentedly as she sank down onto Chuck. "Sex at work is definitely in my top 10 favorite things in the world."

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_A/N: So this is just chapter 1, of course. There's a lot more to this story. Well, maybe not a LOT more. But there is more. The actual depths of the AP universe are certainly debatable, haha. Figure on probably 4 or 5 chapters in the end. And chapter two is already done, and it includes the first meeting of this mystery girl and Sarah, which promises to be explosive. So tune in next time to check that out. You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	2. An Awkward Meeting

_A/N: Thanks guys for the reviews on chapter 1. Now onto chapter 2, where the story really starts to unfold. Again, I'm going to go with shorter updates, but hopefully, they'll continue to come out rather quickly. I'd like to promise daily, but I'm taking a short vacation this weekend, so I doubt that will happen. Unless of course I finish the story up before I go. Keep your fingers crossed, I guess. Oh! And props to **genie4u and ****Tynianrex** for picking up on the Dexter reference a the beginning of the story. I really have fallen in love with that show after finally watching it. Oh, and for those asking, the new girl? I don't have a particular actress in mind, but as I envision the character, she looks a LOT like Michelle Ryan. So keep that in mind, I guess. Alright, enough from me. Enjoy the chapter, and please review. Thanks! _

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**Chapter 2: An Awkward Meeting**

**Castle Facility  
February 21, 2011  
09:45 PST**

Casey walked down Castle's steps, the new and temporary member of Team Bartowski following close behind him. Chuck was there to great the new addition to the team. The very attractive, very feminine, very _brunette_ addition to the team. Normally, this girl would be spiraling towards a new career in being worm food, but Sarah had made a promise to Chuck, and she intended to keep it, if at all possible.

"So you must be Thomasine Buck," Chuck said. "Welcome to our humble abode."

"I would hardly call this place 'humble'," the woman answered as she took in her surroundings, her voice carrying a heavy Welsh accent. "And please, call me Tommi."

"Tommi?" Chuck asked. "I don't think I've ever met a girl called Tommi." He seemed to think on his words for a moment. "Not that I'm saying you're a girl, really. I mean, of _course_ you're a girl, um, er, female. But you're a fully grown woman. All grown up. An adult. Not that I'm saying you look old—"

Sarah was seething over in her own dark corner of Castle. Chuck's adorable nervous ramblings were supposed to be reserved only for her. Why was his giving a freebie to this Tommi skank? Maybe keeping her promise of allowing this bitch to live would be harder than Sarah thought.

But then, something unexpected happened. Tommi didn't grin shyly, didn't refuse Chuck's apology flirtingly. No, Tommi just dismissed Chuck with a simple "okay" and turned and walked away. Maybe the skank knew what was best for her.

"Agent Walker?" Tommi asked.

It was then that Sarah realized the other woman was standing right in front of her, and had been trying to draw Sarah's attention for several moments.

"What?" Sarah asked curtly. Tommi may have made one right move, but Sarah knew how these sluts worked. They would never stop until they got what they wanted, and they all wanted in Chuck's pants. Sarah wasn't about to be friendly with her.

"I'm just," Tommi seemed flustered all of a sudden. "It's just, you're a bit of an idol of mine, and I was telling Agent Casey that I'm quite honored to have the chance to work with you."

Huh. That's not what Sarah expected. A compliment, complete with blushing and general hero worship. This Ms. Buck was good. She was trying to butter Sarah up before taking her man. She must have read the reports.

"I'm your idol?" Sarah scoffed. "So are you saying I'm old?"

"What!" Tommi asked, nearly in a panic. "No, of course not. You're young, and smart, and beautiful. So, so beautiful. The fact that you've accomplished so much in your short life, however, is beyond words. I've studied every mission report of yours I could gather on my own. They're of course all ridiculously edited, but still, I can't get enough. You're brilliant."

Brilliant. Sarah never remembered being called brilliant. Well, there was that one English guy she shagged after Prague. He may have used the word brilliant. Or maybe not. He said a lot of stuff, but Sarah really wasn't listening to him. He was a distraction while she tried to move past Chuck. One of many. All failures.

"Brilliance aside," Sarah began, "you and I need to have a _very_ important discussion. Now my boyfriend and I had a talk, and he's convinced me that you are more useful to us alive than dead. That having been said—"

"Keep my eyes, hands, and all other body parts as far away from Agent Bartowski as possible?" Tommi asked, interrupting.

"I see you've been well schooled," Sarah said. She was almost impressed.

"Your General Beckman made sure I was aware of your—unique situation before I took this assignment," Tommi said. "And I assured her, just as I'm assuring you now that I have no interest in becoming involved with Agent Bartowski."

"Chuck," Sarah said. "You should call him Chuck." She paused as an anger began to grow in her gut. "But why wouldn't you have any interest in him? Are you saying there's something _wrong_ with my boyfriend?"

"No, of course not," Tommi said defensively. "He's a perfectly lovely man."

"So you _have_ been looking," Sarah accused.

"What? No. He spoke, I listened, and then I moved on. He's a talker, that one."

"Oh, you have no idea. You should hear the things _I_ can make him say," Sarah gloated.

"I have no doubt you could make many people say many things," Tommi said.

And that's when it dawned on Sarah. Tommi had been checking her out the entire time. Initially, Sarah wrote it off to another woman sizing her up. Seeing if she could take her. Which, if that were the case, Sarah could've given her a definitive answer: no. But that's not what the skan—Tommi had been doing at all. Tommi was actually checking Sarah out. Like a guy. Or Carina.

"Are you," Sarah paused. "Are you looking at my chest?"

Tommi's eyes snapped upwards, focusing back in on Sarah's face, but the blush of her cheeks, the dilatation of her eyes told on her even if she hadn't been caught. Yes, she was staring at the girls. And more than that, she'd liked what she'd seen, and she was aroused. And she was also embarrassed that she'd been caught. Holy shit. This was new. Well, new-_er_. It had been a long time since a woman had been interested in Sarah in _that_ way. Or maybe it was the first time Sarah noticed since Chuck finally started producing the goods.

"I'm terribly sorry," Tommi said, embarrassed. "But as I said, you _are_ a very beautiful woman."

Good. At least she didn't deny it. Sarah didn't have time for liars.

"That I am," Sarah admitted. "But unfortunately for you, I'm taken."

"I didn't say I was interested," Tommi answered, her attempt to feign disinterest poor at best. Sarah could play coy better than that while under the effects of truth serum. And Sarah was a little put off that Tommi was trying to lie now. What happened to the open honesty from before?

"Look, Tommi, you're quite fetching yourself, but you and I? It's never going to happen, okay? But when we finish this operation, remind me to give you a number of a friend of mine. She's absolutely stunning, and she could never turn down a go in the sack with a pretty girl."

After all, Sarah wasn't cruel. Protective? Yes. Ruthless at times? Of course. But not cruel. This Tommi girl clearly needed some loving, and Sarah knew Carina was always looking for fresh meat. Especially fresh meat with an accent. That was one of Carina's many weaknesses.

"You think I'm pretty?" Tommi asked shyly.

Well shit. That's the part the girl chose to focus on? Fair enough. "Yes, Tommi," Sarah sighed. "You're very pretty. You have a lot going on for you."

"So if you weren't with Chuck…?"

"If I weren't with Chuck, I'd rock your world three ways from Sunday, all right?" Sarah said, just trying to finish this conversation. All the talk of sex was making her horny. Where was Chuck, anyway? He'd probably get a kick out of all this.

"Interesting," Tommi said vaguely. "I'll keep that in mind."

And with that, the brunette walked away leaving Sarah very confused. What the hell just happened?

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_A/N: So that's all for now. Next chapter, Sarah has to further deal with this new, and VERY different threat. And Chuck gets involved. And there's more confusion. Should be fun, right? You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	3. An Invitation

_A/N: Don't you just hate it when authors make excuses for why chapters are late? Or even worse, when the make preemptive excuses for why future chapters WILL be late? So do I. It's the worst! So, guess what time it is? If you said "excuse time", you were right. Heh. So, this weekend, I'll be going out of town for my first proper vacation in well over a year. And trust me guys, I need the relaxation, I really do. Now, I'd intended to have everything through chapter 5 finished up before I left this afternoon. Well, fate had other plans for me. While working this morning, I broke my ankle. How did I do it? Well, I was jumping out of an airplane, onto a burning building to rescue a baby. What? You don't believe me? It's the baby, right? That was too much. Would it have worked if I said puppy instead? Well, I'll remember that for future reference. In actuality, I stepped off a curb, turned my ankle over, and that sucker just snapped like a Lay potato chip. And casts suck, for the record. _

_Anyway, so yeah, after this chapter, I don't know when chapter 4 will be published. If I had to guess, I'd say Sunday night, but it may be Monday morning. We'll just have to see. In any case, I hope you like chapter three, and thank you to everyone that's still around!_

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**Chapter 3: An Invitation**

**Burbank, California  
February 21, 2011  
11:16 PST**

"So where are you taking me to lunch?" Sarah asked, turning to Chuck who was driving. It was kind of a routine. She'd always ask, even though she already knew the answer.

"It's Monday, right?" Chuck asked. "So I guess that means it's In-N-Out day." That was Chuck's part of the routine. He always answered as though it was a surprise or a new revelation.

But routines aside, Sarah had important matters to discuss with her boyfriend.

"Chuck, there's something we need to talk about," she said. "It's about the new girl."

Chuck sighed. "Sarah, I assure you, Tommi is _not_ trying to sleep with me, nor has she ever, nor _will_ she ever."

"I know that!" Sarah shot back.

"Look, I know that you often get insecure about our relationship, but as I always tell you, you have nothing to—"

Chuck stopped in the middle of his automatic response, running Sarah's words back through his head. "Wait, did you say you _know_? I don't think I've ever heard you say that about another woman before."

"Well, this time I know," Sarah said defensively. "And that's what we need to talk about."

"Sarah, this is great!" Chuck said. "I mean, you're finally coming to see that no woman could ever compare to you in my eyes, and that—"

"She wants _me_," Sarah said, cutting Chuck off.

Chuck looked at her blankly for a moment. "I'm sorry, you said what now?"

"She has the hots for me. She even admitted it. And she wouldn't stop staring at my breasts," Sarah said.

"Well, you _are_ wearing a rather low-cut top, so—"

"I'm wearing this top so _you_ would be focused on my fun bags and not the new girl. But it seems to have backfired, as that very new girl couldn't take her eyes off, well, the girls," Sarah said.

"Well, if it helps, I _have_ been checking you out a lot today, too," Chuck said.

"Aww," Sarah cooed. "That does help. And if you want to forgo lunch in favor of getting a better view of what rests beneath my shirt—"

"Finish telling me about Tommi first," Chuck said.

"Oh, right," Sarah said. "You distract me so easily. Not that I'm complaining. But anyway, so Tommi is into me. Of course, when I say 'into me', she's not into me in the same way she _wants_ to be, but you know."

"Well, you're a beautiful woman," Chuck said, shrugging his shoulders. "Who wouldn't be into you?"

Sarah was silent for a moment. Then: "That's it?" she spat.

"What?" Chuck said, taken aback by Sarah's sudden outburst. "What was I supposed to say?"

"This girl _wants_ me," Sarah said.

"Well, if she likes women, she couldn't choose a better one to crush on."

"That's sweet," Sarah said, caressing Chuck's cheek. "But no!"

"No?" Chuck asked.

"No! She wants to have me _instead_ of you. She wants to take your place. That should make you angry."

"You want me to be angry?" Chuck asked.

"If you were me, and I was you, I'd kill a bitch over less," Sarah pointed out.

"So you want me to," Chuck paused. "You want me to _kill_ her?"

"Chuck!" Sarah shouted. "You know how I feel about you killing people. I think I've made my feelings on that matter _very_ clear. Or do I need to tell you again?"

"No, I know how you feel about me killing people," Chuck said, defeated. "I'm just a bit confused. How exactly do you want me to handle this information?"

"Like Chuck!" Sarah demanded.

Chuck took another moment. Sarah could practically hear his mind at work. He was so sexy when he was thinking. Or any time, really.

"Okay, so how about this? Maybe she didn't mean it like that," Chuck said.

"How do you mean?" Sarah asked. "She was staring at my boobs. There's not a lot of ways to take that."

"Fair enough, but maybe she just wants to be your friend."

"My fuck friend," Sarah grumbled.

"Okay, maybe that's true, too. But maybe, in lieu of that, she'd accept a regular friendship. Who knows, you two may have a lot in common," Chuck said.

"What could we possibly have in common?"

"Well, she likes girls, you have a somewhat sordid past with same sex relationships, or so Casey has said. In fact, he went into great detail about this one time with you and Carina in Afghanistan—"

"Chuck, focus!" Sarah demanded.

"Right, right. Sorry. Anyway, you're a spy, she's kind of like a spy. You're extremely attractive—"

At that, Sarah gave Chuck a look that seemed to dare him to finish that sentence, so he stopped.

"Well, whatever. But the fact is, until you talk to her, and get this all out in the open, you won't know for sure what she wants, what she's willing to accept, or what you need to do about it," Chuck said.

Sarah had to admit, Chuck had a point. And as much as she hated to talk, and she really did, it didn't seem as though there would be any other way out of this one.

"Fine," Sarah huffed. "I'll talk to her. But you better make it worth my while."

"Meaning?" Chuck asked.

"Meaning, no In-N-Out today." Sarah smiled to herself, then: "Well, let me rephrase that. We're not eating burgers."

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**Castle Facility  
February 21, 2011  
12:45 PST**

Sarah was feeling rejuvenated after her extended lunch hour, which lasted far more than an hour and involved very little lunch. In fact, the only thing she had to eat was a stick of gum, and that only after the midday activities. She was still enjoying the gum, in fact, as she walked into Castle. She wished that she was still enjoying the activities, but there was a problem that only she could fix, and Sarah Walker was nothing if not a problem solver.

"Tommi," Sarah said, approaching the brunette who was sitting at the main conference table, hard at work on, well, something. "We need to talk."

"Oh no, that doesn't sound good," Tommi answered, immediately looking up from her work. "What's wrong? Is it Chuck? Did you two have a fight?"

"What!" Sarah asked. "No! Chuck and I are just fine. We need to talk about you. Or more specifically, you and me."

"Perhaps I misjudged where this conversation was going," Tommi said, pushing away from the table.

Sarah couldn't help but notice that the other woman was now sticking her chest out. It was subtle, but Sarah knew all the moves of a proper seduction. And Tommi _did_ have great tits.

"I think you're misjudging it now," Sarah said, trying to defuse the situation before it started. "I came here because, well, you're new to the team, and I figured you could use a friend."

There, she'd done it. She'd made a friend overture. That was certainly something new for Sarah. She didn't have a lot of friends. Okay, almost no friends. And the ones she had, had almost all approached her first. Was that even the right way to make friends?

"Friends can be good," Tommi said.

The words were right. It was what Sarah hoped to hear, but she couldn't help but to think that there was more there. That Tommi meant something completely different by "friends".

"You do realize that I just mean friends, right?" Sarah asked.

"Oh, of course," Tommi said. But her voice still held something more than the words she was saying. It was as if she was smirking at Sarah with her inflection. Sarah hated that.

"Listen, I really do mean just friends."

"I know you do," Tommi said. "So, as friends, how do you feel about going out to a pub, for drinks? What's it called? A 'girls' night'?"

Sarah thought on that for a moment. Ellie was always trying to get her to go out for a girls' night. Sarah was always declining. She didn't want her boyfriend's sister to see her lose her temper. But friends were supposed to do stuff like that, and it wasn't as if Tommi didn't already know the deal with Sarah. She could be herself around Tommi. Maybe this friends thing wouldn't be so bad after all.

So Sarah made plans to join Tommi that evening. Drinks, talking, laughing, then Sarah could go home for her nightly plowing from Chuck. And Chuck would probably reward her for welcoming the new girl, and making friends. She decided then that this new plan had definite advantages.

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_A/N: Wow, I'm getting kind of tired. Need to lie down before I head out for vacation time. A nap would do me good. Anyway, hope you dug the chapter, and I can't wait to hear your feedback. You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	4. A Confusing Situation

_A/N: Ahhhh, back from my vacation. And it was only spoiled just a bit by my, you know, not being able to do anything on account of having a cast on my leg. Heh. Anyway, so I'm rested, and back to writing. I'm sure there's someone, somewhere that's actually happy about that. Anyway, while I originally said four or five chapters for this, it's now looking like six or seven. Probably. Who knows? I'm kind of writing this by the seat of my pants, and letting it take me where it wants. Oh, and I did get the updates from Comic-Con this weekend, and, well... Shoot, who knows with this show, right? I guess we'll find out in less than two months. It's guaranteed to be... Well, once again, I don't think there are ANY guarantees with this show, haha. Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter, and I look forward to your feedback. Thanks!_

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**Chapter 4: A Confusing Situation**

**Tony's Darts Away  
Burbank, California  
February 21, 2011  
19:20 PST**

Sarah brushed Tommi away when the other woman tried to grab their hand as they entered the bar. Being friends did not give Tommi permission to touch Sarah any time she wished. That was something Sarah's new friend would have to learn. But Sarah was a good teacher. She almost had Chuck trained completely, and it had taken less than a year of sexing him up to get him there. True, she couldn't use the same reward system with Tommi, but with time, Sarah was sure the new team member would learn how to act appropriately.

Of course, in Sarah's mind, appropriate behavior was for everyone to give her what she wanted. Chuck should give her sex, and everyone else should give her space.

The two women took a seat at a table near the back of the pub. Sarah snapped her fingers at a waitress, who immediately dropped whatever she was doing and came to take Sarah's order. Someone else who seemed to know the score. Good.

Being out with Tommi had definite advantages. Sarah didn't have to be on the lookout for brunette skanks who might be trying to steal her man. Hell, if any skanks tried to pick up on her companion for the evening, Sarah could go home earlier and enjoy more sexy times. And if not, she could get in some quality bonding time with her new friend. It was a win/win.

"You look fantastic tonight," Tommi said, breaking Sarah from her inner musings.

"I know," Sarah said.

She was wearing a simple black cocktail dress, but as Chuck had once told her, nothing looked "simple" when she was wearing it.

Tommi seemed frustrated by Sarah's short reply. "Do you like what _I'm_ wearing?" she asked.

The waitress delivered two drinks, a neat bourbon for Sarah, some girly drink for Tommi, complete with a stupid tiny umbrella. Sarah took a long, slow pull from hers before casting her eyes on the other woman.

Tommi was wearing a tight, low cut dress that really showed off her ample breasts. It was short, giving anyone who wanted to peak a nice look at her fantastic legs. And it clung to her just right, accentuating her lean frame. Sarah had to give it to her, the girl knew how to dress to impress.

"It's nice," Sarah said, shrugging and throwing back another sip of her drink.

Tommi seemed to deflate just a little at Sarah's dismissal, and Sarah realized that being "just friends" with Tommi was going to be more difficult than she'd hoped. Time to push her agenda.

"I mean, you look very nice. I'm sure that you could pick up just about anyone you want in here. I'll even help."

Sarah hadn't played wingman in a long time. In fact, not since her early days as Bryce's partner, when she was trying to keep him out of _her_ pants. But Tommi clearly needed to get laid, and since Sarah wasn't at all willing to participate herself, she figured she could at least help her friend out.

"No, that's all right," Tommi said, defeated. "There's really only one person here I'm interested in _that_ way."

"Tommi, we talked about this," Sarah warned.

"Yeah, I know. But a girl can hope, right?"

Sarah knew where she was coming from. Sarah had been obsessed with someone she couldn't have before. Of course, in Sarah's case, she eventually got the object of her obsession. Sadly, Tommi wouldn't have such a happy ending.

"I think it may have been a mistake coming here," Sarah said, taking finishing off her drink before standing up.

"No!" Tommi said, grabbing Sarah's hand and trying to pull her back to her seat. "Don't say that. Just stay a little while. Please?"

Sarah quickly ripped her hand away from Tommi's grasp. This broad still hadn't learned the no touching lesson.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow," Sarah said. And with that, she left Tommi all alone.

* * *

**Chuck and Sarah's Apartment  
Echo Park, California  
February 21, 2011  
21:15 PST**

Tossing and turning in bed sucked when Chuck wasn't the one tossing and turning her.

From the moment Sarah left the bar, her mind had been working overtime. Honestly, she hadn't thought about things as much as she did that night in a long time. With Chuck, she didn't have to think. Being with him allowed her to turn her brain off, and it had become so comfortable that she'd just grown accustomed to that feeling. Of course, all the sex Chuck provided her only helped in shutting up her normally overactive inner thought process.

But Tommi presented something new. Tommi made her think, and Sarah didn't like that.

Was this how Chuck felt, with every woman he met trying to get into his pants? And if Sarah was Chuck in this new situation, was Tommi a typical brunette skank, or was she someone else? Was Tommi by chance _Sarah_ in this situation? The other woman _had _seemed rather fanatical in her romantic overtures.

And if Tommi was Sarah, did that make Chuck a threat in Tommi's mind? Sarah knew very well how women such as herself handled threats. The problem was, until she met Tommi, Sarah was convinced there was no one else in the world that took to protecting her property with such vigor. But if Tommi was indeed like Sarah, as Sarah feared, then Chuck could be in danger.

If Chuck was in danger, then Sarah had good reason to eliminate the threat. Hell, according to the contract, Chuck couldn't even withhold sex from her for taking out a threat to the Intersect or national security. It was the job. But Chuck had asked her specifically not to kill Tommi.

Would he still feel the same way if he knew the complete story? Would he get angry with her if she told him? Would he even believe her?

All those thoughts kept swirling around in Sarah's head, and it was pissing her off. And taking her out of the mood for sex. Sarah was _never_ out of the mood. It was the first time since she'd first experienced the joy of sex with Chuck that she'd said no to him. That pissed her off even more. Tommi was ruining her life, and Sarah had no idea how to fix it.

What's more, she kind of understood where Tommi was coming from. Most people would dismiss Tommi as a crazy bitch, but Sarah understood the other woman's dilemma. It was hard being over-the-moon in love with someone. It was even worse when the one you were crazy in love with was with someone else. Just like she'd experienced when Chuck was with Lou. When Chuck was with Jill. When Chuck was with Hannah.

And true, Sarah never killed any of those women, but the urge had been there. And if the urge was there for Sarah, Sarah was sure that the urge _could_ be there for Tommi to harm Chuck.

No. Sarah wouldn't let herself believe that. She had to be overreacting, right? There was no reason to tell Chuck about any of this. She'd keep it to herself, have another talk with Tommi, and everything would blow over and go back to normal. Everything would be fine.

So Sarah drifted off to sleep without having sex, which of course made sleep a little harder to come by, but at least tomorrow, things would be as they should be once more.

* * *

_A/N: Awww, poor little Sarah. So confused. So isolated. What ever will she do? And what will Tommi do next to try to get Sarah's attention? Well, the latter question will be addressed in the next chapter. Anyway, thanks for reading! You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	5. An Unexpected Gift

_A/N: So, it occurs to me that this story isn't as funny as some of the other AP stories. Well, that is to say that it's not funny in the same way, at least. I mean, it still has the dark comedy and all, but it is dark in a different way. And Sarah isn't the Sarah that we've often seen in this universe. But fear not. She's not really changing. This is just a weird situation for her. Oh, and it's about to get weirder. Hopefully some of you will stick with me, despite the alternative subject matter of this story. I know femmeslash isn't in everyone's taste, but I think it serves a purpose here. At least I hope it does. Anyway, all of you that are still with me make me happy, and thanks for reading_

_**WARNING! **There is a canon character death in this chapter. To the best of my memory, it's the first time someone from canon has died in the AP universe (except for in Sarah's dream at the beginning of this story, where Jill was dead... and I guess Yvonne's death in that one AP story almost counts). But there's an honest to God canon character that eats it in this chapter. Not a main character, mind you, but if that sort of thing turns you off, then this chapter isn't for you. So, yeah, you've been warned!_

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* * *

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**Chapter 5: An Unexpected Gift**

**Chuck and Sarah's Apartment  
Echo Park, California  
February 22, 2011  
07:30 PST**

Breakfast was made and set out on the table, and Chuck was washing dishes, waiting for Sarah to join him or the first meal of the day.

Washing dishes. It really _did_ help him deal with stress and worry. And he was worried. When Sarah came home from her evening out, he'd planned to give her a nice, romantic night cap, something Sarah usually would've been all over. In fact, it's something Sarah would've normally demanded.

So why did she reject him?

Was she finally getting bored with him? Had she finally realized how out of his league she was? Had she finally come to her senses? Chuck worried that any of those could be true, but somehow, they all seemed to ring false.

It was something else. Something she wasn't telling him. Or maybe she was just having a bad night. Hell, even Michael Jordan had off nights. Sarah was certainly entitled to one evening that she didn't feel like having—no, she wasn't awake yet, and he could use whatever term he wanted—making love.

Chuck put away the final pan and realized he was fresh out of stuff to wash until breakfast was over, so he plopped down on the couch to watch a little television.

When he flipped it on, the morning news was showing. Watching the news after Sarah had been out, unsupervised had become a bit of a habit of his. And that morning, it made more sense to him than normal. Maybe Sarah had gone on one of her rampages, and she was just really tired when she got home. It would explain why she was sleeping in. Although even that line of reasoning seemed weak, as killing normally put Sarah _more_ in the mood.

As the talking heads on the television were going on about the latest celebrity gossip, the doorbell rang. Chuck slowly started to stand, when he heard Sarah come dragging into the room behind him.

"Don' worry; I'll get it," she said, then yawned, stretching as she walked.

Her stretch pulled sleep shirt up enough to show the lower half of her abdomen, and Chuck couldn't help but admire her physique. Amazing how just one night of not being intimate with her could make him appreciate her beauty all the more. But Sarah seemed to be oblivious to his stare as she shuffled over to the door, so Chuck went back to watching the news.

_"The body of a woman was found outside this Burbank Buy More this morning_," the news reporter said. _"She was decapitated, and displayed in a ritualistic fashion. Authorities are not currently releasing the identity of the body, and have no leads as to who could've committed this grisly act. It is not known whether or not this killing is connected to other disappearances of women around the Burbank area over the past ten months, but if you have any information that could lead to discovery of the killer, please contact—"_

"Sarah!" Chuck shouted.

"Huh?" Sarah asked. She was clearly distracted by something.

"Was that you? Do you know who that woman was?" Chuck asked, a little irritated. He was quite positive that it _was_ Sarah that killed whoever it was. And he feared that the body belonged to Tommi.

"It wasn't me," Sarah said, and Chuck could tell she wasn't lying. In fact, she seemed to be shaken; by what, he didn't know. "But I know who it was."

"Who?" Chuck asked.

"It's Lou," Sarah said, haunted, detached. "Tommi sent me this."

And when Sarah reached into a box_—_no doubt the package that had arrived at the door earlier_—_she pulled out a human head. _Lou's_ head. And Chuck fainted.

* * *

**Castle Facility  
Burbank, California  
February 22, 2011  
08:01 PST**

Casey casually walked down the steps to Castle, sipping at his black and bitter coffee. He noticed the monitors were on, and rolled his eyes. Moron or Mrs. Moron must have forgotten to turn them off on the way out the day before.

Casey was so accustomed to being alone in Castle during the early morning, that he nearly jumped when he saw the aforementioned Mrs. Moron pacing back and forth. What the hell was Walker doing there? She was usually busy taking advantage of the nerd during the morning hours. And the evening hours. And any time during the day she set her mind on doing it.

"What're you doing here?" he asked, trying to hide his surprise. "Bartowski having his time of the month?"

"Shut up, Casey," Sarah growled, not breaking stride in her pacing.

"I mean, usually you two are busy doing things that I don't even want to begin to think about this time of morning."

"I said shut up, Casey," Sarah repeated, more irritated than before. "I have Chuck locked in one of the holding cells, and you and I need to have a talk."

Bartowski locked up? That was…odd. And Walker didn't sound like herself. Well, she kind of did sound like herself, back before she started mainlining nerd sex daily. She sounded like the old Walker. The one that was the best partner Casey ever had. But he had to be imagining things, right?

"Why'd you lock him up? Some new honey you're worried about? Or did Bartowski finally wise up and try to kick you to the curb?" Casey asked.

"I think Chuck's in danger," Sarah answered, ignoring Casey's barbs.

"In danger of some broad getting in his pants again?"

"No, Casey. The Intersect may be in danger, and I'm at a loss for what to do," Sarah answered. She didn't sound manic. She didn't sound like the psychotic killing machine she'd become over the past year. Instead, she sounded like a professional. Casey was shocked. And worried. What would turn Sarah Walker back into a normal agent?

"What's going on?"

"It's Tommi," Sarah answered.

Damn. So he was wrong. It _was_ another case of Walker's jealousy cropping up. It was just manifesting in an odd way this time. Well, more odd than usual, if that was even possible.

"She'll be gone in a few weeks, Walker," Casey said, his worry ebbing. "I'm sure Chuck won't be getting horizontal with her in the meantime."

"It's not Chuck I'm worried about sleeping with her," Sarah barked.

Huh. So this was different.

"It's me. She is aggressively trying to pursue a sexual relationship with _me_."

Different, and suddenly very interesting. Casey didn't really think of Walker _that_ way, but he could admit that she was a very fine looking woman. And that Tommi Buck was a tremendous piece of work. Accents always did it for Casey. Thus the Ilsa incident. Hell, thinking about Walker and Buck rolling around in the sack was admittedly making Casey's shorts start to feel a bit tighter.

"So you're thinking of stepping out on Bartowski?" Casey asked, his undivided attention back with Sarah.

"Fuck you, Casey!" Sarah shouted. "You know damn well I'd never do that."

He did know. She may be crazy, but Casey knew Walker was nothing if not loyal to the nerd.

"But she's like me," Sarah then said.

"What do you mean like you?" Casey asked.

"I mean _like_ me. The stuff with Chuck? The random jealousy fueled blackouts?"

"The crazy killing sprees?" Casey added.

"Exactly!" Sarah exclaimed. "You know Lou is dead."

"I heard. Damn shame, that. She may have gotten mixed up with some scummy guys, and Bartowski, but she had the best pastrami in town," Casey said. "Figured you finally offed her, for what it's worth."

"I didn't," Sarah said. "Tommi did. She did it as a gift to me. Trying to prove herself, I guess. And she left Lou's head on my doorstep, gift wrapped."

"Holy shit. You found another one as batshit crazy as you?" Casey asked.

"Maybe worse. And I'm scared Chuck might be next," Sarah said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Casey thought about it for a moment, and what Sarah was saying made perfect sense, which was definitely not the norm, of late.

"I think you're right," Casey admitted. "You need to have a long sit down with that crazy bitch. Find a way to make this go away. We can't afford to lose the Intersect."

Sarah sighed. "You're right. And I can't afford to lose Chuck." She turned and stared at the monitor showing Chuck in his cell. "I'll do what I have to do."

* * *

_A/N: Hope that death wasn't too horrific for you, my beloved audience. I know it was kind of violent and all, but at least I didn't have Sarah do it, right? Hehe. Anyway, in the next chapter, Sarah will finally have to make a choice, and get stuff done. Thanks for reading, and I look forward to your feedback. You guys are awesome. Peace._


	6. An Ultimatum

_A/N: Wow. Hmm... I did NOT expect the reaction I got to the last chapter. Heh, maybe these author notes aren't such a good idea. One, they kind of spoil some surprises from time to time. Two, they apparently give people the wrong idea, haha. So the thing is, for those that actually continued reading after the last, obviously unpopular chapter, you've made it to the part where things start to heat up. Where the story finally reveals itself. Congratulations! Heh. That having been said, the worried reviews from last chapter DID inspire me to have a little fun with how things played out in this one, though, haha. Hopefully we're getting back to more funny with this one. That's the goal, anyway. So, thanks for reading, ye who still remain. _

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* * *

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**Chapter 6: An Ultimatum**

**Castle Holding Cell  
Burbank, California  
February 22, 2011  
10:05 PST**

The door to Chuck's cell slid open, and he opened his eyes to see Sarah standing there. He sat up on his cot and leaned back against the wall.

"Sarah? What happened?" he asked, still groggy from the tranquilizer dart.

"I'm sorry, Chuck. I couldn't explain what was going on this morning, and I needed to get you to Castle and under lockdown in a hurry—"

"_You_ tranqued me? I figured it was Casey," Chuck said dejectedly. "What did I do wrong?"

Sarah quickly covered the ground between them and sat down on the bunk next to Chuck. She tentatively reached up and gently stroked his cheek. "You didn't do anything wrong, Chuck. None of this is your fault, okay?"

"Then what's going on?" Chuck asked.

Sarah sighed. "Look, the thing is, we've discovered that there's a new threat to you, to the Intersect."

"So this is all spy related?" Chuck asked. It really did surprise him. To say Sarah had been acting a bit unprofessional over their time together would be an understatement. He was actually relieved to see her behaving like a spy again, even if it did cost him a tranquing and getting shoved in a holding cell.

"It is. Well, it is and it's not," Sarah said.

"How can it be both?" Chuck asked, confused.

"It just is," Sarah said. "It's complicated. But the thing is, I have to do my job now. My job as a spy, and my job as your girlfriend. And that job is to keep you safe, Chuck."

"Sarah—"

"Please Chuck, let me finish," Sarah begged. She paused and waited until she knew she had Chuck's attention again. "So basically, I'm going to have to do something that you probably won't like. In fact, you'll probably be mad at me when you find out, but I don't care."

"You don't care?" Chuck asked, a little hurt.

"I don't care because doing this will mean you're safe, and that's all that matters," Sarah said sternly. "_You're_ all that matters to me. So yeah, you're probably going to be pissed off at me, but I can't help that. All I can do is protect you the only way I know how, and hope that you'll forgive me when it's all over."

Chuck cast his eyes down, looking away from Sarah. He could never focus when he was looking at her. When he looked back up, he was resolved. "I won't forgive you," he said solemnly.

"I understand," Sarah said sadly. "But I still have to do this, because I love you." She stood and started to slink away from him, but before she could reach the door, Chuck grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him.

"I won't forgive you, because I won't be mad at you," he explained. "Whatever you do, I'll support you, okay?"

"Really?" Sarah asked shyly.

"Really," Chuck answered.

They stood smiling at one another for a moment. It was a nice moment. A tender moment. Then:

"So, you think we have some time before you do this thing you need to do?" Chuck asked.

"Fuck, yes!" Sarah exclaimed, pushing Chuck back towards the cot.

* * *

**Orange Orange  
Burbank, California  
February 22, 2011  
12:30 PST**

When Sarah entered the Orange Orange through the freezer, Tommi was sitting at a booth waiting for her, just as Sarah told her. This made Sarah happy. Already she was in a position of power. That would be necessary for what came next.

Sarah took her time, going over and preparing two cups of frozen yogurt before she finally made her way over to join Tommi.

"Yogurt?" Sarah asked, sitting down.

"No thank you," Tommi answered. "I'm not really a yogurt person."

"You sure?" Sarah asked. "It's our new Ginseng bee pollen flavor."

"That sounds absolutely horrendous," Tommi said, cringing.

"Suit yourself," Sarah shrugged, shoveling a spoonful of the frozen treat into her own mouth.

Sarah allowed the yogurt to melt in her mouth before finally swallowing and focusing her attention back on Tommi. "So you're probably wondering why I asked you here," Sarah said.

"Oh, I have some ideas," Tommi said suggestively. "More than that, I have some hopes, some desires. Most of them involve you fuc—"

Sarah held her hand up stopping Tommi midstream. "So it's come to my attention that my boyfriend may be in danger. From you."

"I never said I'd hurt Agent Bartowski," Tommi said coyly.

"Chuck," Sarah barked. "His name is Chuck. And you didn't have to say anything about what you planned. After all, I know how people like you think."

"People like me?" Tommi asked, a smirk still on her face.

"People like _us_," Sarah clarified. "For some reason, you've decided that you want me more than you want anything else. I can understand that. I can appreciate that. Hell, I'm rather flattered by that."

"You're welcome," Tommi said.

"Just stop," Sarah said. Sarah paused again, eating another bite of yogurt. "So Casey thinks I should just sleep with you and make this all go away."

"Colonel Casey is a smart man," Tommi said.

"He's an excellent spy," Sarah said. "But what he's not is one of us."

"One of us?" Tommi asked.

"Didn't I—I know I already clarified this. You and I? We're the same. We think the same, talk the same—although I don't have that stupid accent—and most of all, we act the same," Sarah said.

"All the more reason for us to be together," Tommi said. "We're the same. I can understand you in a way no one else in the world can. And you can understand me. See? We're meant to be together!"

Sarah facepalmed. This bitch just wasn't getting it. "Tommi, I don't, nor will I ever have an interest in you like that. It's just not going to happen. I don't know how many other ways I can say that."

"Then stop saying it!" Tommi demanded.

"Listen, Tommi. Why don't you take that number I gave you, and call Carina. I'm sure she'd be happy to meet you. She'd be happy to do a lot of other stuff with you, too," Sarah said. "Last I heard, she was still on long-term assignment in San Tropez. So go to her, enjoy the scenery, enjoy the sex, and leave me, and more importantly Chuck alone."

"I have a job to do here," Tommi said. "I can't just leave."

"I assure you, you can," Sarah said. "See, the thing is, the information you can provide us? It's good, but it's not _that_ good. We got along fine before you, and we'll get along fine after you leave. So what you need to do is, you need to get up, go make that call, and get the hell out of here today. Or shit, don't make the call. I don't care. But you have 24 hours to be out of Burbank."

"Or what?" Tommi asked, calling Sarah's bluff.

"I'll put it like this," Sarah said, leaning in close to the other woman. "In 24 hours, you'll be leaving Burbank. I'm giving you the choice of how that exit happens. Feel lucky. I don't give that option to many people."

"But I—"

"24 hours," Sarah repeated.

She stood and confidently strode back to the freezer. She was feeling pretty good about herself. She'd done exactly what she wanted to do. She'd said exactly what she wanted to say. Add to that, if Tommi didn't follow her directive, Sarah would get to rid the world of one more brunette skank, this one a dangerous one. And best of all, Chuck was waiting in Castle to further reward her. Things were looking good for Sarah.

* * *

_A/N: So see? Why on EARTH would you think the Adorable Psycho would cheat on Chuck? It's simply not within her range of ability to do that. She's faithful if nothing else. Crazy, but faithful, haha. Anyway, thanks for reading, and I look forward to your feedback. You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	7. She'll Never Get Out of Burbank Alive

_A/N: Hmm, I seemed to pacify some of the readers with the last chapter, and for that, I'm happy. I never had the intention of implying that Sarah might cheat on Chuck. Well, that's not true. Initially, I had no plans to give you that impression. After the backlash from chapter 5, I just couldn't resist teasing it a little in chapter 6. But like I said, this is still AP Sarah, and she's still, well, you know how she is if you've read the other stories, haha. Anyway, this will conclude this story of our Adorable Psycho. I'm actually quite proud of myself for keeping on an update schedule with this one. And I dug doing it in short chapters that were released more frequently. It helps to get more feedback along the way, I think. Don't know if I'll use a similar format with other stories in the future, but I'll consider it. Now, with this done, for those wondering, I'll be getting back to College Years. Probably won't update for a few days, but the one year anniversary of first publishing that story is coming up, and I WILL have something for that special day, I promise. Anyway, I've gone on way too long. Enjoy the final chapter, and please review. Thanks!_

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**Chapter 7: She'll Never Get Out of Burbank Alive**

**Chuck and Sarah's Apartment  
Echo Park, California  
February 23, 2011  
11:30 PST**

Chuck was exhausted. He'd told her so a number of times, but Sarah wasn't letting up. If _she_ had to be awake at all hours to make sure Tommi wasn't going to make a run on Chuck's life, she was certainly going to keep herself occupied. Or more accurately, she was going to make Chuck keep her occupied. Plus sexing Chuck up gave her an excuse to keep him with her at all times. Not that sex was an excuse. It was more just what Sarah wanted, having the added benefit of suiting her mission directives.

"Sarah, I am physically unable to do it, _again_," Chuck whined. "I mean, I love being with you, but this has been non-stop since yesterday. I don't think I've worn clothes since we got home. It's excessive, even for you."

They were both naked, and still in bed. They'd never actually left the bedroom since coming home the previous day. All danger aside, it was kind of the best day Sarah could remember. But still, she had to ask.

"What do you mean _even for me_?" Sarah asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"Seriously?" Chuck asked, propping himself up on an elbow so he could look at her as he spoke. Seeing Sarah was going to make him say it, he continued. "You're the most sexually aggressive woman I've ever known. I mean, it's like you're obsessed sometimes."

"I'm obsessed all the time," Sarah shot back. "But I do see your point. Are you saying you don't enjoy the sex?"

"What!" Chuck asked, panicked. "No! I mean yes! I mean of course I enjoy the sex. Making love—"

"You know how I feel about that phrase, Chuck," Sarah growled, cutting him off.

"Fine, then plowing you—"

"That's better," Sarah said, grinning.

"Well, it's like the best thing ever. And not just like the best sexual thing ever, I mean like the actual best thing that's ever existed," he finished.

"Aw, that's so sweet. And having you inside of me is like the very fabric of my existence. So what's the problem?"

Chuck sighed. "It's just, as much as I enjoy it, it's starting to hurt, like a lot."

"Pain can be good sometimes," Sarah chimed in.

"_You_ like pain," Chuck pointed out. "Me? Not so much. But no, not just normal pain. This is like, 'if we do that again, it's going to fall off' pain."

Sarah huffed in frustration as she rolled over to check the bedside clock. Her spirits were immediately lifted.

"Dammit, I didn't realize what time it was," she said. "All that boinking and I completely lost track of time."

Sarah jumped out of bed and began putting her clothes back on. She didn't really have time for a shower. She didn't really care to shower. She'd let Tommi smell the scent of Chuck and sex all over her. If Tommi was still in town, she deserved to be jealous just before she died.

"You have somewhere to be?" Chuck asked, confused.

"Uh, yeah," Sarah said sheepishly. "I have something to take care of, but I'll be back in a couple hours."

"Oh, well in that case, I guess I'll get something to eat," Chuck said, shrugging.

He also began to get dressed, but Sarah grabbed his arm firmly.

"No," she ordered. "Get your rest while I'm gone, but stay naked. When I get back, I plan to pick up where I left off, got it?"

Her tone left no room for argument. None. So Chuck did the only thing he could think of to do.

"Yes'm," he said, nodding dumbly.

* * *

**The Lobster  
Santa Monica, California  
February 23, 2011  
12:25 PST**

Sarah walked across the nearly empty restaurant. She had to admit, the view _was_ really nice. And the menu she'd accessed online when she was tracking Tommi's location looked quite appetizing. She'd have to remember this place for future dates (or as she now liked to think of them, pre-plowing activities) with Chuck. He'd probably like it here.

Tommi was sitting alone at a table overlooking the ocean. But then, of course she was alone. There was no one else in the establishment, except the staff.

Sarah calmly sat in the chair across from Tommi. She'd give the other woman one last chance to flee. Then she'd take great pleasure in making Tommi take her last breath.

"I knew you'd come!" Tommi said excitedly, seemingly unaware of the danger she was in. "I know you're all connected to Chuck and stuff, but he's nothing like us. We're soul mates, you and I. I've known it since I met you."

"Why's this place so empty?" Sarah asked, ignoring Tommi's ramblings.

"Oh, yeah, that. Well, I thought this would be an excellent venue for our first date, so I rented it out for a private party of two. I didn't want us to have any distractions," Tommi explained.

"This isn't—"

"Yeah, I know this isn't actually our first date," Tommi said, cutting Sarah off. "But I didn't expect you would be so forward, and ask me to that pub my first night here. And I had to book this place weeks ago. But still, it makes a great second date, right?"

"Tommi!" Sarah snapped. "First of all, you asked _me_ to that pub the other night. And we were just going as friends, which we aren't anymore."

"So we're more than friends now?" Tommi asked hopefully.

"No we're not," Sarah boomed. "We're nothing, that wasn't a date, and this most assuredly isn't a date. I've come here because yesterday, I gave you 24 hours to be out of town, and it looks like you've completely ignored my mandate."

As Sarah was talking, a waitress set a large plate of seafood on the table between her and Tommi.

"Oh, that silly thing?" Tommi asked, waving her hand dismissively. "I knew you didn't mean it. And now you're here, so we may as well enjoy the setting and the food, right?"

"We're not—"

"And maybe when we're done, we'll enjoy each other," Tommi added.

Sarah took a deep cleansing breath. "You have two minutes," she said, checking her watch.

"Until what?" Tommi asked, putting down her oyster and looking at Sarah, confused.

"In two minutes, your 24 hours is up," Sarah explained.

"Oh, pish-posh," Tommi said. "Come on, have some of this plate. It's the Shellfish Platter for two, after all. Eat some oysters. I hear they are a wonderful aphrodisiac, which will be great for what I have planned for after the meal."

Sarah was getting more irritated by the moment. "One minute, Tommi."

Now Tommi looked a bit upset. "Why are you doing this?" she asked.

"I don't feel the need to further explain myself," Sarah said. "Either get up and leave this place right now. Get as far from me and Chuck as you can, or I'm gonna kill you."

To illustrate her point, Sarah produced her Smith & Wesson and trained it on Tommi. Right between her eyes.

Now Tommi was just plain mad. "This is supreme bollocks!" she shouted. "You ruined it. You ruined everything. We could've been so happy, you and I." Tommi sighed. "But if I can't have you, then no one will."

The next few seconds seemed to move in slow motion for Sarah. She saw Tommi reach under the table; she saw Tommi produce a firearm; she saw Tommi close her eyes and turn away (pussy); and Sarah pulled her trigger before Tommi could.

Middle of the forehead. Perfect shot. Casey would be proud. Hell, Sarah was proud.

"Time's up, bitch," Sarah spat at the dead woman in front of her.

Sarah pulled her phone from her back pocket and dialed her partner.

"Casey," he answered.

"Hey, Casey. I need a cleaner crew at The Lobster in Santa Monica."

"You do her?" Casey asked.

"Yeah, our _problem_ has been eliminated."

Having taken care of the business side of things, she then dialed Chuck.

"Hello?" Chuck said.

"Chuck! Hi. So, you still naked like I asked?" Sarah asked.

"Well…"

"Chuck, you better not have any clothes on when I get home," Sarah threatened.

"Fine, it will be done," Chuck said. "So where'd you have to go?"

"We'll talk about it later," Sarah answered. "For now, just be ready to go when I get there. It shouldn't be long now. Gotta go, love you."

With that, she ended the call, and began to survey the scene of her latest kill. Apparently the gunshot had drawn the attention of the every worker in the place. Wait staff, cooks, everyone was standing in the room with her, watching on with looks of shock and abject horror on their faces. Sarah didn't care. She was used to getting that look.

"So," she said out loud, to no one in particular. "Can I get some of these oysters in a take-out box? I heard they were an excellent aphrodisiac."

* * *

_A/N: So, I hinted at it the entire time. The name of the story, the name of the antagonist, and especially the name of this final chapter. And I almost came out and said it in a few review replies. But now, I think everyone who would know what it was DOES know what this was. The entire thing was set up for Sarah to have a Raylan Givens moment. This was like my AP homage to the amazing show Justified. So, yeah, there it is. Hope you enjoyed it, and can't wait to hear your feedback. You guys are awesome. Peace. _


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